There Be A Change In The Winds Says I
I have come to the stark realization that I’m not going to big tourney paintball. It was just one of those passing dreams, and it was fun while it lasted, but I just don’t think that’s what I want to dedicate my life to, and that’s what it would take to become the best.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love paintball. I’ll always find time to grab a weekend to play, and when I do it’s not like I’m going to go completely into recball mode. I’m going to keep learning, keep playing against people that will make me better. It has gone from something I must excel at immediately to something that I wish to excel at on my own pace. The team is still together, and I’ll be with them till the day something rips us apart (college).
But it’s weird how such a change in mentality happened so quickly, and I was surprised that it came from within me and not somebody or something else. I’m also surprised that I’m okay with it. I don’t feel like I’m letting anybody down, and for once everything feels like it’s where it should be. For the past three months paintball has been a splinter in my mind, everything revolving around the game and getting better at it. Now it’s just…I’m fine with slowing it down. I’m ready to play for fun, not for the win. I’m ready to get my head of out the clouds and put my feet back on solid ground again.
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