Paintball Journal

Guess what week it is, boys and girls! Oh, yeah! It’s rant week for Dana! That means you get five, count ‘em, five! angry pictures of me this week!

First of all, these rants are made in good humor, and I harbor no true ill-will towards those who propagate that which I rant against. Er, well… if I do it’s just a wee bit. A little righteous anger never hurt anybody.

Secondly, here’s my first angry picture of the week, yar!

And we’re off.

I went along with some of my friends to mess around at the local rec ball field this weekend and saw some of the most ridiculous stuff. Now, I understand that you should take advantage of the field set-up and layout, but there was just some basic stuff that should be below anyone.

First of all, blind firing around a corner has to be my biggest annoyance. I invariably have to give a lecture about it when I play with new players. Usually that lecture takes place on the field while they’re blind firing at me, whereupon I take up the task of informing them of the dangers of shooting blind around a corner.

It is dangerous, it is illegal, it is dumb. It makes me bunker these kids. I can’t help it, I don’t want to, it just happens…

Next up we have shooting through holes in wooden bunkers that only a barrel can fit through. Someone called it chicken shooting yesterday, which I kinda like. Similar to blind firing, except slightly more effective. Though there’s nothing “wrong” with doing it, it still ticks me off, because I’d never do it.

I may or may not have viciously bunkered a dude who was doing that to my teammates yesterday. In fact, I may or may not have run across the entire field and got shot up myself in order to do so.

You know, just things to keep in mind when playing cheap and dirty.

My final annoyance today falls much in line with the other two, which is shooting under bunkers. Bunkers are not actually meant to be shot under. If there is a gap in the bunker, move away from it, then ignore. If there should be more than one gap in said bunker, simply go back to step one and repeat.

If not, you may have one angry Ion-wielding Asian in a Santa hat bunkering you very soon.