Paintball Journal

I do not agree with the following article posted on Paintball.com, but I thought it was one of the funniest things I’ve read in awhile…

Quoted From:

Pod Thievery: Code of Conduct
By Curtis Ronning

Pod thieves, those chumps are everywhere. I should know because I am one of the worst of them. However, I play by the rules…the pod stealing rules.

A friend once told me that he paid for his flight to an event by selling 64 used pods. Yes, you heard correctly, he paid for his flight with 64 used pods. You might be thinking that he sold a bunch of pods off to help pay for his trip….no, he actually gave someone 64 used pods to pay for his flight. The best part is, he stole every single one of those pods! So you are probably thinking, ‘I hate bastards like that who always steal my pods’ but what if this guy was playing by the rules? What rules?? Those rules constitute the Pod Thievery Code of Conduct.

The Code of Conduct is fairly simple, but for some reason the younger generation of today does not even know of this code, let alone follow any of the guidelines. I am not really sure what happened in the last few years at the field, maybe the older generation didn’t pass on the knowledge? I mean it is not like these rules are written down (well, until now) for people to read at their leisure. The lack of players following the Code also seems to only appear in local players. Perhaps the local baller lacks sponsorship and therefore pods have a deeper monetary value. However, how precious can a pod really be? Ask me for one the next time you are at practice, depending on the size of my stash, I will give you one or many. Anyways, the rules, okay, here goes:

The Pod Thievery Code of Conduct

Section 1: Responsibility to Purchase Pods

Each competitive paintball player must purchase as many pods as their first buttpack, harness or ball hauler (whatever you want to call that thing on your back) can carry in the main sleeves. If you purchase a 3+2 style pack, you must purchase at least 3 pods. If you choose to purchase all 5 pods, the pod thieving community thanks you graciously because you will be less likely to keep an eye on all 5 pods. Be happy, you are never required to purchase pods again.

Section 2: Pod Availability

A pod can be stolen when it is no longer in a person’s possession. This would include anywhere on the ground, even beside the owner’s gear bag (although that might be a risky theft). It can be on the field, in the staging area, or in the parking lot. A pod can also be stolen when it is left unattended on a solid object (other than the ground of course). This might include a chair, bench, table, fill table, registration counter etc.

A pod is still available for theft if it in a person’s butt pack, but this is a very risky move and only the best of the best can get away with it. However, if you are successful, by all means, take that pod and any paint contained within.

Section 2A: Restrictions to Availability

The gear bag is OFF LIMITS. A pod thief must refrain from pilfering pods that are contained within a gear bag. A gear bag, for the purposes of this code will include any bag-like container that can house articles of paintball equipment. A person’s vehicle is also covered under the definition of gear bag, as many players stage out of the trunk of their car or truck.

Section 3: Transference of Ownership

Once a pod has been stolen, ownership of the pod does not automatically transfer over to the pod thief. The thief must place the stolen pod into his or her own gear bag to claim ownership of that pod. Alternatively, the thief can fill the stolen pod with his or her own paintballs in order to claim ownership.

Transference of Ownership is instantaneous. If a player recognizes a stolen pod, later, on the same day of the theft or on another day, and this pod has transferred ownership, the previous owner cannot reclaim ownership unless he or she has followed the Pod Thievery Code of Conduct. Simply stating, “Hey, you stole my pod, I am taking it back� is not acceptable and at this point you will look very petty and most likely lose any friends you have around you. A much better response of, “Oh you bastard! I’ll get my pods back, you just wait!� shows that you are playing by the rules, are not weak or pathetic, and might also show that you do not live near the beach.

Section 3A: Limits of Section 3

This section allows for Pod Theft Prevention Tactics or PTPT. PTPT can include simple phrases such as, “Hey, what are you doing?� or “You jerk, that is my pod� or even more diplomatic responses like, “Excuse me sir, I believe you have misplaced my pod as your own.� A pod thief caught in the act of pod thievery shall surrender the stolen pod upon request.

3A(i): A stolen pod placed into a thief’s pack is not covered under Section 3: Transference of Ownership.

Section 4: Complaints About Pod Thievery

Complaining about successful pod thieving is strictly forbidden. If you do complain about a successful pod theft, expect to be looked down upon by the rest of the pod stealing community. Hang your head in shame and report to your nearest pro-shop, you have just been assigned to purchase more pods for your buttpack.

So remember everyone, if someone steals your pod and is following the Code of Conduct, you cannot complain, you cannot get angry, but you can get even! Keep an eye on your pods, because now every player out there who did not know pod stealing was an option is going to be all over it.*

Good Luck, and Happy Thieving!

*The author of this article does not condone stealing. The author is not encouraging the theft of any personal property and reminds readers that theft is a criminal offence. This article is simply stating unwritten rules from previous generations and the code of conduct does not exempt any person from criminal sanctions. Pod Thieving should be undertaken at your own risk.

I’ve never stolen a pod, nor have I ever had one stolen from me. By the looks of it though, it’s bound to happen sooner or later, and I will join the ranks of the thousands of pod thieves out there. It will no doubt be a dark mark on my paintball career when I descend to the level of the petty thief, but I will wait until a pod of mine is stolen first.