Paintball Journal

Real Action Paintball, popular for their realistic mil-sim styled paintball products, has now developed a fully functional 40mm paint-grenade launcher. It’s based off of the popular AK-47 paintball marker design, and is very accurate in looks compared to the real thing. They claim it can fit any AK-47 style marker as well as fires Thunder Grenade rounds, and has working, adjustable sites and safety.

This is clearly a fine achievement, and I think most people will be impressed by it. This is just one awesome reason why I wished I had the money to go out and buy everything paintball related. I don’t even play woodsball anymore and I’d still like to get one!

Here’s the official release from their site:

Real Action Paintball is proud to announce the new 40mm Grenade Launcher. This amazing new tool is designed for the AK47-style markers, or as a standalone unit. This is the first 40mm Grenade Launcher-style unit designed for AK47-style paintball markers!

The 40mm Grenade Launcher comes in two versions: one for standard .68 paintball markers, and the other, .43 caliber paintball markers. The .68 caliber version can be mounted on all .68 caliber AK47 look-a-like paintball markers!

The 40mm Grenade Launcher is made of aircraft aluminum with a functional trigger and safety switch. It also has an adjustable sight - it’s externally the spittin’ image of the real thing! They are solidly built and made to last, and RAP4 fans take heart: it’s compatible with all Thunder Grenade cartridges!

The 40mm Grenade Launcher is designed to take paintball to the next level of realism! For games with tanks or “rocket launcher rules,” get their special-color paint and prove you took out that tank with a “grenade!” Take ‘em out with the 40mm Grenade Launcher!

This is especially for the opposing force - when you want to play OpFor in realistic scenarios - so you can have a little more fun playing the bad guy. The 40mm Grenade Launcher is the first grenade launcher that is compatible with the AK47 style paintball makers, to help the bag guys enjoy the game and to give the opposing team a real challenge.

Something that we attempted a few times back to little success was the pod monkey drill, as demonstrated in this video.

Supposedly it is to uhm, increase endurance and teamwork skills or something. In reality, it creates an environment where everyone watching can laugh their asses off. I thought it was a good drill, overall. Here’s a picture from the field when we attempted it.

I just found out not too long ago just how many colleges are now supporting paintball teams, and I’m guessing that this number is going to increase in the near future. Here’s one that I didn’t see coming, though. How about a $5,000 scholarship to help you along the way, offered by Brass Eagle? Sounds real good to me!

You can continue reading to read the official article, or you can find it here at the National Collegiate Paintball Association website.

With generous support from Brass Eagle, the NCPA is pleased to offer a combined total of $5,000 in scholarships towards college education. Students who are enroll in an accredited, two- or four-year program during 2006-2007 or 2007-2008 school year are eligible for scholarships to be awarded in the spring of 2006.

The primary consideration in awarding the scholarship will be a candidate’s achievements promoting a positive public image for the sport of paintball in their community. A candidate must have applied to or be attending a college, accredited trade school or university and have demonstrated scholastic ability by submitting SAT or ACT scores and transcripts of high school and any college courses taken. A candidate must demonstrate character, integrity and leadership through participation in extra curricular, civic or community activities.

Promoting a positive public image for the sport of paintball would include, but is certainly not limitted to, promoting charity paintball events, conducting paintball safety or awareness campaigns, and organizing service projects performed by and attributed to members of the paintball community.

As part of the application, candidates must write an essay, maximum 2,000 words in length, answering the following questions:

- How have your activities promoted a positive image for the sport of paintball?
- How will you continue to promote paintball’s positive image while completing your college education?

Candidates must complete and submit an application by April 1, 2007. If a recipient does not enter school within one year of receiving an award, or leaves school at any time after starting, any scholarship award may be automatically canceled.

Depending on the quality of the pool of applicants, available scholarship dollars may be split between one and five selected candidates. Scholarships awarded to candidates enrolled during the 2006-2007 school year may be applied towards the Fall 2006 and Spring 2007 semesters or 2007-2008 semesters.

Payments of scholarship awards are made only to the school upon receipt of each semester’s billings.

Candidates must file the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) with the College Scholastic Service. After the FAFSA has been processed the candidate will receive a Student Aid Report (SAR) in six weeks from the College Scholarship Service. A copy of both the FAFSA must be included with the application and the SAR must be forwarded to the NCPA upon receipt if not also included with the application.

This is exactly what the sport needs right now, and I’m glad to see it come from a company like Brass Eagle. It’s a very generous move on their part, and I can only hope that others follow their example. Brass Eagle, I salute your efforts!

There is a common trend occurring right now in the world of paintball fashion. We’ve all worn it before; most likely have played in it at some point or another. The object of it is to conceal yourself from your opponent, but in speedball, why does it matter? Why are the camo jerseys becoming the new rage? Hell if I know! But I do really like the looks.

We have JT, Planet Eclipse, XSV – everybody is going to camo.

JT

Planet Eclipse

XSV

I’ve even heard rumors that a lot of Pro teams are going commando this season – you know, really commando.

Or maybe not. I like the look of the camo, I can’t complain. Just two weeks ago when we were out I think I saw two or three guys already wearing the XSV pants, and I’ve heard nothing but good things about them. Actually, those pants are miracles. I don’t know how they do it, but I’ve seen some crazy bounces off them. Friend who wears them gets bunkered – shot in the leg like six times and pretty much figures he’s out. The game’s over, and he begins to check himself; not one of them broke. I really just don’t know, is that even legal?

Not everything in life is pretty, and there are so many things out there that don’t need looks. All they need is to accomplish the task, whatever it may be. But we all know paintball is about looks. It’s all about who has the sexiest gat on the field, whether it be a Dynasty Shocker, 07 Ego, etc. I think I’ve found a few items that completely fail in the looks category – items that I really just don’t know how they came into being, how much crack the creator had smoked before planning these out.

Numero Uno: Alien Interceptor – I…really don’t know what to say about this one. It’s simply just ugly.

Number Two: Ventz. What the hell. I’m not sure what they were going for. My guess is something futuristic, but somehow managed to come out looking like death.

Number three: Tippmann Triumph – Since when did paintball turn into NERF??

Okay So I went to find some pics of it, and I’m beginning to think Tippmann is deleting everything that they can, to cover up the ugly they released. If I find one I’ll let you know.

Edit: Found a pic from XtremePaintball. Too bad, this post didn’t even need more ugly.

And finally: The Kingman FASTA loader – Like I’ve said before, it’s a freaking nuclear sub! Just look at it! Ohhhh the humanity, it’s just so fugly!

That’s all for now. I think we’ll be able to turn this into something of a series, because God knows there’s more to come.

While on a temporary tangent about team philosophy, I’d like to talk about keeping a positive attitude.

In this upcoming tournament that Evan and I will be playing in, there will be better teams than us there. Of that, I have no doubt, I’ve seen some play, I’ve played against some before, and won as well as lost.

But I also don’t doubt that ANY given team can win on ANY given day.

Always think positive. I can’t stress this enough. Oliver Lang, arguably the best paintball player in the world, actually said in an interview with Monthly Paintball Newsletter:

“Play every weekend you can afford, keep a positive attitude, don’t get too cocky, and always look to get better by pushing yourself all the time.”

Keeping a positive outlook and shooting for first are key parts of becoming a winning team. If you don’t expect the absolute best from yourself and your teammates, then you aren’t going to win tourneys, you aren’t gonna get into first place. But if you really give it your all, time and time again, you set yourself and your team up for success.

You practice for a reason. You practice to get better. You practice so you don’t make noob mistakes in the middle of your first tournament. I believed we learned an invaluable lesson, the hard way mind you, last Sunday. As the title suggests – cross it up and lock it down.

Too make this simple, I broke to back right. The rest of my three teammates broke to the left, one stayed home. I get up from my slide and just as I look to my left I take one to the face from two guys gunning their way up the opposite tape. That leaves the rest of my team looking inside (by coincidence), and the two guys slip right in behind them – over in fifteen seconds.
It was a serious lack of communication. All three of them assumed that somebody was watching the left tape, which I was for about a half second. Besides that though, they assumed that one of them was watching that left side.

Lesson one: never assume anything in paintball.

(more…)

Now, some of you are probably saying, Dana, why the hell did you just post a video with little or no affiliation with paintball?

I’ll tell you why. That line “I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey!” is exactly what you should be saying for paintball.

Oddly enough, bouncing around in a squatting position is one of the most agile, flexible, and mobile positions that you can assume when playing pretty much any bunker. It makes you look like a crazed spider monkey, but that’s okay. My friend Sam was playing all day in that position, and did pretty damn well. Of course, he’s also a lot better than me anyway, but that spider monkey position is pretty incredible.

As soon as I have video, I’ll put it up.

Ten things not to say to a woman at the paintball field, or if you’re feeling particularly ballsy, go for it! Just remember to take pictures or video of how she responds and send it to us! We’d very much like to see how hard you get owned.

1. Will you help me screw this in?
2. I seem to have lost my condom, may I borrow yours?
3. You’ve got a serious problem when your pods are bigger than your hopper.
4. Are those my balls on your face?
5. See, like this. All you do is aim and shoot.
6. Will you hold my balls?
7. I didn’t know girls played paintball!
8. I never thought I’d see the day when a girl could handle her balls better than I can handle my own.
9. Stand back babe, I’ll show you how a real pro does it.
10. Whenever is comes down to playing dirty, you always want a wide spread on the field.

Okay, okay. To be fair I guess we need a few lines that the ladies can say.

1. Wow, your balls are dimply!
2. Are all of them Stubbies? Your tank that is.
3. Yeah, I have a 16�. What about it?

Well I tried anyways, haha.

You really want to throw your opponents for a loop? I mean really mess with their heads? Then try these 10 things that might get you bonus balled.

1) Mid-game conversations. Talk with your team mates about the episode of your favorite TV show last night, or the latest celebrity gossip, or who your best mate’s dating.

2) Keep calling for your opponents to check themselves for paint. Over, and over, and over.

3) Don’t shoot at all. Run and hide. Try to make as little noise as possible. Trust me, it’s an eerie effect.

4) The dead man’s walk. This one is a bit challenging, and extremely ballsy. You have to stand up like you got hit, making no indication that you were hit other than the fact that you are walking towards the deadbox with a decidedly glum air about you. This can only be used in certain situations that allow you to walk downfield when you get hit.

5) Even when all your guys are dead, keep talking like they are still alive.

6) Insult your opponents in the lamest ways possible. Tell them their “mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

7) Begin wasting your team mates.

Affix a ‘bayonet’ to the end of your gun. Signal the charge. Entire team charges the enemy’s position with paintbrush bayonets.

9) Throw spent pods at opponents. Works better if in the midst of a gunfight. Snap out and throw.

10) Jump. Up and down, in a stand up. Most moronic thing you can do in-game, I swear.

Being fairly sick and tired of my gun being called plastic, I replaced all parts ‘plastic’ with an ultralight synthetic polymer mesh… aka cardboard. It actually was fairly easy. Just taking cardboard tubes and cutting them properly covered me. I even played with it last weekend and had no problems at all. It was pretty sick.

Anyways, you can get one shipped direct to you for $50.00 plus S+H. At least, with the way all the other Ion Body kits are selling, that’s about what this one’s worth.

Well, it’s that time of year again. Yes, the one and only time of year that actually changes to the next. So it’s the year 2007 now, and I still haven’t thought of my New Year’s resolution. I guess I could go ahead and choose the simple and obvious ones like eating healthy, being nice to people, and all that usual crap, but no – not this year. This year I think I’ll set a fairly simple one and it is this: bring my game up to a tournament level that will be able to compete with experienced tournament players.

I will achieve this in a simple process. First, I’ll get a job (it’s a necessity if you want to play serious paintball). I hope to have a job by the end of this month, because I’ve had my eye on a few places for a while now. The only thing left for me to do is to pick up the applications.

With a steady source of money, not only will I be playing at least twice a month, but I’ll also have the funds to upgrade the rest of my gear. I still need a new mask, knee and elbow pads, and eventually a new pack and a high-end gun (Those new Egos are looking real nice right about now, but the new Shockers look good too).

It’s a full proof plan, let me tell you! Well I have to hope so anyways. But I really am looking forward to money, and not having to worry about spending too much of my savings. Things look like they’re shaping up quite nicely for 2007 so far.

Okay, so I haven’t technically found one yet. But I really, really want to make one. How awesome would that be?

I’m going to need a couple dozen (empty) Corona bottles, some gentle sanding equipment, maybe a hack-saw, and a lot of time. But once I have completed this insane custom Ion Body, it will be the envy of Ion owners all across the world.

At least, I think the bottle will fit around the breech. Heh.

Evan and I have come up with a brilliant catch-phrase for an apparel line. “I’d rather be paintballing”. Print that bad boy across the front of a shirt, with a cool paintball concept drawing on the back, and it’s a 100% guaranteed hit with the paintball community.

This concept would sell very well is because this is what everyone really wishes they were doing! It would sell an incredible amount of apparel, hats, shirts, hoodies, pants, socks, whatever! (Lingerie anyone? Because that would rock, finding out a girl was wearing “I’d rather be paintballing” underwear.)

[By posting this, the phrase "I'd rather be paintballing" and all associated ideas herein have become the intellectual properties of PaintballJournal.com and its authors and administrators. Every time you think the phrase "I'd rather be paintballing" you must send $50.72 to everyone associated with this blog.]