Top 10 Reasons Why Paintball Is Better Than a Girlfriend
The realization that I’m shooting -2/6 at the free-throw line of relationships spurned me to make this post. Because paintball ain’t never done me wrong. Maybe there’s a reason for the rise in prominence of phrases like “harder to spot than a paintballer with a girlfriend…”.
10. While having a girlfriend is like burning money by the dumpster-full, playing paintball is more like burning it by the bucket-full.
9. Your paintball gun won’t leave you for another man. And if it does, that man best be paying for it.
8. Paintball gear doesn’t talk back.
7. You can have as maaany paintball guns as you like. You gun-whore you.
6. Play some tournaments, and you might just get some of that money back. With a girl, well… you’ll be lucky to see a dollar of that back in your wallet.
5. Your paintball gun never “has a headache”. < Whatever the hell that means.
4. Paintball guns don’t abuse you. People with paintball guns abuse you. Where as your girlfriend will beat you down and take your cookies.
3. Getting caught cheating in paintball will get you pulled from the game. Getting caught cheating in a relationship will uh, kill you, best case scenario.
2. You can play paintball any time you want to. Girlfriends might want to go out at any time. Including *gasp* paintball time. You’ve been warned.
1. Okay, so I could think of a million more reasons, but I can’t seem to come up with a crowning one. And I’m beginning to doubt myself, because, while all these are true, and paintball is a unique and truly awesome experience… there isn’t anything quite like a girl. But don’t tell anyone I said that!
January 29th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Dude, how true can this possible be. For real, I think I’ve seen over half of these scenarios before (which is a bad thing).